Nudity Content Must Be Over 18

In Your Face #1

DVD review by C.G. Hilliard

In Your Face #1 (Metro)
Starring: Tory Lane, Jeneveve Jolie, Brooke Haven, Chase Chandler, Staci Thorn, Haley Page, Gia Jordan, Austin Kincaid, Crissy Cumms

Metro/Loaded’s new feature In Your Face #1 is a rollicking ride of spit-soaked sword swallowing and semen-swishing that’s not to be missed, especially if you’re a devotee of that love that dare not speak its name (because it’s impolite to speak when your mouth is full).

Out of all the women with a talent for tickling tools with their tonsils, this gang of spunk-starved goo-gobblers head and shoulders (and more head) above the rest. The first of these top-notch pole-smokers is pretty olive-skinned and well-stacked brunette Tory Lane, whose talent as a skin flautist could land her first chair in the New York Semen-phony Pork-estra.

After deep-throating her co-star’s swollen member and coaxing forth an eruption of white lava, Tory demonstrates the innovative technique that gives this series its name by hawking a loogie made of equal parts spit and sack-sauce into the camera lens, licking it off, and spitting it back.

Bottle-blonde slut Brooke Haven takes a different tack to obtaining her protein shake, gagging herself on her skipper’s little buddy like Jake LaMotta on weigh-in day. But when she gets tired of dining alone, Brooke flips around and picks up the spare on her “sixty-eight and I’ll owe you one” position and gives co-star Marc Davis some pink lettuce to munch on while she puts the crème on his banana split.

As director Anton Slayer coaxes her off-screen, Brooke gets a mouthful of man-milk and spits it onto the camera lens, which it coats in a film so thick and murky Anton could go shoot Nina Hartley and make her look like Paris Hilton.

For sheer prison-sex degradation, baby-faced blonde Staci Thorntakes the crème-frosted cake. Getting man-handled like a Skull and Bones pledge on Hell Night, Staci is on the receiving end of the most brutal face-fuck this side of Gitmo Bay, complete with hair-pulling, ball-swallowing, and suffocation to the point that mascara-smeared tears drip down her face as she struggles for air. For those with a taste for the rough stuff, this is a masterpiece of dominance and submission.

How much wood could a porn-slut suck if a porn slut could suck wood? I don’t know, but I’ll tell you where the party everybody’s cumming to is . . . It’s In Your Face!