Peachez peels.

Peachez peels.
At last, Sarah Peachez, an object of Internet obsessions since she was a scant 15 years old, has gone nude. Waaaay nude. Like you can see past Peachez’s fuzz and into her juiciest of areas. Plus her delicious poo-pit. Yay!

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Hole-y matrimony.
We hate weddings, because we hate funerals (same idea, get it?). But, thanks to Fleshbot, the sight of a bridal gown is no longer an instant, 100-percent repulsor, as these pics remind us that, contained therein, are naked wives.

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Eva Lost?
Rumors float that interracial double-anal and aquatic lesbian sadomasochism enthusiast Eva Lux may have retired very suddenly. And, like, cosmically. We hope not.

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Blow-viators.
Girls suck, then girls talk. And then some take it back.

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New Devil possesses print.
In a throwback to the headily collectible fun of vintage Cinema Blue and Adam Film World, our alma mater Genesis magazine will issue a special edition one-shot entirely dedicated to The New Devil in Miss Jones. As nerds, we’re thrilled. As masturbators, we can hardly believe nudie magazines still exist.

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Touch . . . down.
Football is a rough and dirty game that somehow attracts creepily well-scrubbed groupies.

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Show and cell.
How did we jerk off before mobile phone cameras?

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In Japan, the hand can be used as so much more than a knife . . .
Delightful oddities from Porn Shops of the Rising Sun. And, yes, this includes Mrs. Roboto.

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Real, naked.
Post Your Girls . . . and we will come.

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Virgin tails, no cock.
The new movie Eternal puts a modern spin on the legend of Countess Elisabeth Bathory, whose beastly beauty regimens included bathing in the blood of female virgins. Human female virgins. La Liz’s lesbian lusts and sanguine shenanigans have been previously chronicled in the 1974 arthouse sex classic Immoral Tales, where Paloma Picasso nakedly impersonated the red-stained royal.

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Calling for back-ups . . .
Rear of the Year. It’s a contest. So is Porn Star or Pop Star. Sort of.