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Pounds of Porn.
DVD review round-up by Dick Lickington
Angels of Debauchery 4 (Evil Angel)
Director: Jonni Darkko
Starring: Alexis Malone, Kylie Wilde, Eva Angelina, Jasmine Byrne, Delilah Strong, Billy Glide, Mark Ashley, Robert Rosenberg, Steve Taylor.
Jonni Darkko’s Angels of Debauchery 4 continues Evil Angel’s proud tradition of recruiting the world’s most beautiful women and covering their faces with semen.
Suntanned blonde with medium tits Alexis Malone starts off the first scene in the back of a limousine dressed up for a white wedding. With no ring yet on her finger she decides to put a little pink-stink on it by diddling herself under her raised skirts. But when well-hung groomsmen Billy Glide and Mark Ashley pull up in a red sports car, Alexis decides what she really wants on her special day is to choke on a massive cock-sicle while her slit gets stuffed with blood sausage. Alexis wastes no time hitting her knees to pay homage to the Billy and Mark’s mighty meat-missiles, then getting in position to blow Billy while Mark boffs her from behind. After a break in the action that allows Alexis to stuff her pearl necklace and bracelet into her greasy treasure box and then lick off her own cooze-cream, the boys resume their duties, finally shooting their loads into Alexis’ white slipper, from which she then guzzles the milky goo greedily. I always cry at weddings.
The next scene finds blonde smoker Kylie Wilde trading in her cancer stick for Mark’s pink torpedo. Kylie’s really to the road to health when she finds out how much more satisfying it is to smoke a pole than puff a smoke. Besides, where is she going to find a cigarette big enough to stretch her pussy out that much?
Eva Angelina, a top-heavy Latina with man-made mammaries, takes Mark out for a test ride in the next scene. After swallowing his sword, Eva rides the baloney pony until she’s ready for a fresh coat of penis-paint on her tongue. Then cocoa-colored Latina Jasmine Byrne, a hot little number with a bubble butt and two sets of fat juicy lips, both of which beg to be wrapped around an even fatter cock, gives Mark an all-access pass to her pleasure arena, encouraging him to use the service entrance in the rear. First, Mark slams her shit rings with a fat glass dildo, allowing Jasmine the rare opportunity to taste her own ass on the crystal butt-plunger. After some oral antics and a bit of cunt-stuffery, Jasmine raises her bouncy bumcakes in the air and has Mark slip his meat between her cheeks, stopping just long enough for an ass-to-mouth tool-tonguing. Taming Mark’s swaybacked throbber with her vise-like browneye and talented tongue, Jasmine coaxes forth a prodigious spew right into her eager mouth. Mark, what do you eat to make all that baby batter?
In the final scene, tiny-tittied waifish brunette Delilah Strong is standing by the side of the road with a cardboard sign reading: “Hungry: Will Work for Cum.” Luckily, local pipe layersRobert Rosenberg and Steve Taylor are there the take her up on her offer. Dissatisfied with her cleaning skills, the two men decide to put her to work on their joysticks, banging her mouth and twat until they are able to produce Delilah’s preferred form of sustenance. From famine to feast!
After seeing what these girls can do, something occurred to this reviewer- the angels of Angels of Debauchery 4 may not have wings, but they sure know how to pluck a harp!
*
Big Boobs in Prague (Metro)
Director: Pat Myne
Starring: Rita Faltoyana, Daria Glower, Jane Darling, Anastacia Christ, Laura Lion, Mick Blue, Dillon Day, Choky Ice, David Perry.
When the Iron Curtain lifted and the world finally got a luck at the women of the Eastern Bloc, the Cold War started to make sense. Who wants to share that kind of pussy? Fortunately, we won that war and as a result, the porn industry has been flooded with shit-hot Eurosluts who have in turn been flooded with semen. Big Boobs in Prague is yet another heapin’ helpin’ of rock-hard asses, buoyant titties, and relentless backdoor oil drilling.
All the girls are top notch and the sex is nasty as hell with plenty of cum gargling and gaping assholes, but two scenes deserve special mention here. The first belongs to Slavic blonde goddess Jane Darling, who opens all three of her apertures for seasoned swordsman Choky Ice. The scene begins with Jane solo, wearing a bright orange fishnet outfit and playing with her boobs until Choky makes his entrance. In the presence of a willing plowman, Jane gets naked except for a white leather belt and high heels and gets down on all fours to choke on Choky’s meat thermometer. But Choky hasn’t eaten himself and decides to go down to the Y for a hot box lunch. While he’s lapping at her Labia, Choky slides a couple of fingers into her greasy browneye to warm it up for the main attraction. Not wasting any time, Choky takes his trouser hound rumpster diving in Jane’s back door before giving her a quick titty-fuck. Unable to leave her behind, though, Mr. Ice is soon back at it, turning Jane’s tight little pucker into a yawning cavity before moistening her mug with man-milk.
My other favorite scene, the last on the DVD, features Laura Lion, a raven-haired beauty with hard body and well-hung woodmanMick Blue. Laura starts off the scene wearing my favorite piece of jewelry, a butt-plug! And it only gets better from there. Ignoring Laura’s bush altogether, Mick proves himself a true backdoor man with some high-friction butt-plunging which results in yet another face full of goo for his lovely young costar.
While we have Ronald Reagan and Pope John Paul II to thank fore lifting the Iron Curtain, we can’t forget the debt of gratitude we owe to Pat Myne for taking us through the winding fudge tunnels of the old European city in Big Boobs in Prague.
*
Big Booty Revenge (Evil Angel)
Director: Justin Slayer
Cast: Ayana Angel, Sophia Castello, Sarah Jay, Luscious, Lauren, Olivia O'Lovely, Cherokee, Nat Turnher and Justin Slayer.
Big Booty Revenge collects a plethora of hard-humping honeys with one thing in common: two huge ass-cheeks.
Among the seven super-seated sirens who stick their cans ever-so-alluringlyb in the camera as a warm-up for blistering backdoor sex, it’s hard to single out whose posterior packs the most erotic whallop.
Wonder-pronged African-American director and on-camera cocksman Justin Slayer – in the role of rectal-restitution-seeker “Nat Turnher” – serves up these fabulous-fannied fuck-monsters in a succession of group scenes that each climax with the bodacious butts accepting amazing amounts of boner – hard!
Lauren Phoenix and Luscious Lopez double team Justin’s Johnson like ample-assed nymphos. Blonde Sara Jay sucks the dusky labia of Ayanna Angel just prior to both of them being pronged to anal heaven. Sarah Jay then returns to take rail in her tail alongside raven-maned Olivia O’Lovely and kinky-caboosed Cherokee.
Sophia Lopez closes the show with a solo schlong-wallowing and sphincter-splitting that threatens to melt the screen into a substance as runny and gooey as what Sophia ends the scene by swallowing.
This Big Booty Revenge blowout is the best Revenge.
*
Rocco Ravishes Ibiza 2 (Evil Angel)
Director: Rocco Siffredi
Starring: Rocco Siffredi, Angel Dark, Carlos, Daniela, Eva San Marcos, Frances, Franco Roccaforte, Gina Jolie, Golden, Isabella, Jamie Brooks… and many more.
Rio, Goa, Cyprus… all these are well-known party destinations for the jet-setting European elite. But where does Rocco Siffredi, the undisputed Caesar of Sodomy, go to catch some rays and ram his throbbing boner in between the tanned butt cheeks of a hot-to-trot party girl? It’s got to be Ibiza, the setting of Rocco’s newest orgy flick, Rocco Ravishes Ibiza 2.
Things get started when the meat-seeking missiles of Juan Dam, Max Cortes and Carlos lead them behind some dunes to get their pinkies stinky with a trio of horny Euro-sluts: Gorgeous half-Thai vixen Roxy Jezel, buxom British blonde Jamie Brooks, and Isabella, a dirty, dirty blonde with perky a-cup tits. After getting their knees all sandy waxing their dude’s sticks, The girls open wide for a little sea foam, Roxy draining both Max and Juan’s swaybacks while Jamie gets a necklace of pearls from Carlos. But Isabella needs her protein shake too, and she shows up just in time to lick about a teaspoonful off of Jamie’s tits before the three accompany Rocco for a nude underwater frolic in the crystal-clear ocean. Is that a clam I see?
Off all the hot girls on this DVD (and there are a prodigious number of them), Angel Dark, a bronzed Czech brunette with an athletic build and supermodel-looks, takes the cake. Her scene with seasoned swordsman Nacho Vidal, Roxy Jezel, and Rocco is the most jackable of the movie. After Nacho starts things off by munching Angel’s pink lettuce, she returns the favor by gobbling his formidable rod like a champ. Roxy’s arrival on the scene and her subsequent doggy-style pussy-pounding livens up the proceedings still further, especially when Nacho shoves her face into Angel’s splayed ass-crack so she can snake her tongue up there and taste what was for dinner last night. Rocco’s prod can’t stay in his pants for long in the presence of so many empty orifices, so he joins the fracas and slides his thick man-root deep into Angel’s heavenly colorectal canal. But Prague isn’t the only place girls learn to enjoy chocolate stroking, and soon Roxy finds her own tight ass impaled on Nacho’s column. Something about getting her shit packed up into her small intestine brings out the nasty girl in Roxy and soon she’s sucking Angel’s ass grease off Rocco’s cock. Sphincters continue to get stretched, and eventually the girls find themselves gagging on the amazing amounts of goo their shit-rings have coaxed from these two seasoned dongs. Both these girls get some pretty rough treatment, but Roxy definitely seems to have gotten the worst of it, and she looks like she’s been rode hard and put up wet by the end. Vacations are hard work!
As summer disappears and the days get shorter, it’s good to know we can always visit the beaches, bikini babes and butt-fucking of the resort town of Ibiza by getting a handful of sunscreen and popping Rocco Ravishes Ibiza 2 into the DVD player.
*
Secret Beauties of the Ukraine (Metro)
Director: Roman Pornanski.
Starring: Maria, Sasha, Iris, Gabriella, Charly.
It’s a great day in the morning when the horniest sluts the former Soviet Union has to offer come out from behind the Iron Curtain and invite us capitalist pigs behind the meat curtain, which is exactly what happens in Secret Beauties of the Ukraine.
Hot blonde gash-gnasher Maria and brunette carpet-cleaner Sasha kick off the proceedings with a lesbo muff-diving session hot enough to blister the paint off the walls. After some unintelligible conversation, Sasha moves in on her gal-pal for a steamy lip-lock, which leads to a hasty top-removal and some tittie-tasting. But nipples aren’t nearly as tasty as a sweaty Slavic snatch, so Sasha quickly puts her talented tongue to work on Maria’s hairless mound. A golden vibrator comes in handy when Sasha decides to give her Sapphic sister’s slit a solid slamming before she gets naked herself and gives Maria a chance to have a box lunch. The busty blonde gives Sasha an equally enthusiastic oral exam and soon the two are locked mouth-to-muff in a sweaty 69. Holy Kiev, that’s a lot of slash-slurping!
Not all the lovely ladies of the Ukraine are coo-coo for cunt juice. Take waifish blonde Charly, for instance. As soon as her post-soviet bohunk gets her behind a rock, she’s got his pants around his ankles and is on her knees inhaling his tube steak like it’s full of vodka. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, even in Ukraine, so Charly shucks off her pants so Ivan the terrible can hike her up against a boulder and loosen her labes with his tongue before hammering her sickle with a big chrome crotch-prod. But this Bolshevik bone-smuggler is loath to let a machine do a worker’s job, so he promptly whips out his Polit Buro for a reverse-cowgirl pussy pounding. Finding Charly’s baby-bay a little too accommodating, our Euro-stud decides to lay her down ass-up on her back and shove his semen-shooter up her shit-can. Nothing coaxes the juice out of a man’s jewels like dangling his dong down among the dingleberries, and soon Charly has a rack splashed with splooge. Arise ye workers and bring a towel!
Some secrets are too hard to keep, but it’s easy to be hard when you’re with the Secret Beauties of the Ukraine.
*
Young Cummers #2 (Metro)
Director: Pat Myne
Starring: Taryn Thomas, Randi Wright, Paola Rey, Candi Apple, Bianca Pureheart, Eva Angelina.
Metro’s Young Cummers #2 features a sextet of hardworking young starlets who are willing to work to make you hard, and isnt’t that indeed the hardest work of all?
The young cummers start off strong with a scene featuring an adorable busty brunette with inflatable funbags named Eva Angelina . After showing the camera her assets, Eva gets undressed and fellates her lucky costar, Mick Blue through the wicker bars of a staircase before assuming the position and getting a doggy-style dick drilling. Next the two move over to the couch for some athletic upright buch-banging leading to a rough throat-fucking session which leaves Eva’s pearly whites a lot pearlier than they were before.
Next pigtailed blonde waif Bianca Pureheart strips down to her knee socks for some deep throat tonsil hockey with Frank Gun, which gets her cocksman ready to administer the pussy-pounding of Bianca’s young life. As cute as Ms. Pureheart is, I got a pure hardon for the next scene, which features the talents of tall and all-natural lovely Latina lesbians Randi Wright and Paola Rey. After stripping off her clothes, Randi penetrates Paola’s pussy with a purple plastic penis- Pretty perverted! Then, licking her own ginch-grease off the shiny dildo, Paola decides to give her friend some attention and starts by tonguing Randi’s browneye like a human bidet, then commences to cram a chrome-colored crank into Rita’s cooze until both sluts are satisfied with their mutual Sapphic surrender.
The fourth scene features fresh-faced blonde beauty Candi Apple, the only girl on this DVD with enough self-respect to let Mick ram his cock into her tight little shitter. But before that, unable to wait for a man to bust down her back door, Candi takes matters into her own hands with a pink buttplug. I guess Ms. Apple’s favorite candy is fudge! Her other two cockpits start to feel empty, though, so Candi fucks herself in the baby-hole with yet another dildo and gobbles her man’s rod like a cock-hungry anaconda. But plastic can only do so much, so Candi enlists her man’s meat-missile to plumb the depths of her briny blowhole. Then Ms. Apple turns over and has her hung hero hide his Hindenburg in the hangar of her hungry heinie-hole.
Top-billed Taryn Thomas, a sex brunette with a hard, compact body and a perpetual “fuck me”-look on her face, comes in to clean-up hit with the ubiquitous (and huge-dicktuous) Mick Blue. After testing Taryn’s gag reflex, Mick plows her pink for a while and gets his finger all brown and stinky before finally unloading his splooge on her chin.
If these are the Young Cummers, then keep ‘em cummin’!
*
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