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The Buck Stops Queer

DVD reviews by Dick Lickington

More Bang For Your Buck (Robert Hill Releasing)
Director: Buck Angel
Cast: Buck Angel, Basho, Wolfmeat, Biker Dude and Submissive Boy.

Buck Angel seems like a pretty cool dude, especially for one that has such a nice pussy.

Buck, you see (way up close and personal), is a female-to-male transsexual.

Buck was born a girl, but through science, exercise, tattoos, goatee-cultivation and a whole lot of cigar-smoking, of late Buck could not look more like a leather-bar king. The only exception is the vagina, which Buck has opted to keep.

So does that make Buck Angel’s new DVD release More Bang for Your Buck a gay porn video? Buck only has sex with unquestionably male partners throughout the proceedings, and they refer to Buck as “him.” But then … you know, that labia-and-clitoris combo sort of complicates how to narrow down the description.

The ultimate answer is: More Bang for Your Buck is a blisteringly sexy adult release and – gay, straight, bi, trannie or whatever – that’s all that matters.

Buck’s opening number with a pair of meaty, beardy men named Basho and Wolfmeat was shot on location in (pre-Katrina) New Orleans’ legendary Beartrap club. The trio takes on one another in a crazy series of kinked-out penetrations, many perpetrated in the fuck-swing of the club’s famous back room.

Next Buck seduces a hetero motorcycle enthusiast identified only as “Biker Dude.” He is believably nervous when first trying to figure out how best to utilize Buck’s hungry organ, but once he’s up and hard, their sex is hard and hot, culminating with a pop shot on Buck’s facial hair.

Finally, Buck brings a skinny boy home who reveals that he’s packing huge meat, which Buck puts immediately to proper use. They suck and fuck each other in a frenzy of passion that transcends gender.

For the true sexual adventurer, More Bang for Your Buck is a bargain at any price.

*

Pile Driver 4 (Robert Hill Releasing)
Cast: Crystal De Luna, Juliana Gnomes, Katia Killer, Tcharla Amorin and four dudes who like plastic dong.

If strap-on sex between a man and a woman is your thing, you’d do well to slip Pile Driver 4 into your DVD player.

Four scenes in a row depict four natural-breasted women stripping out of PVC nurse costumes, doing four men in a variety of ways before the female don faux-phalluses that they use to simulate sodomy by slamming them up the dude’s shitters.

Crystal DeLuna kicks things off by losing her red-and-black, skin-tight medical get-up and then getting it on with a guy who rides her like a cum-charged cowboy.

Pink-clad Juliana Gnomes nails her subject on an examination table. She sucks his nipples, which is hot, fingers his sphincters (which is hotter) and then gives him her robber rod using numerous techniques and approaches (which is hottest of all).

Katia Killer, wearing white (temporarily), plies her guy’s glutes with a dildo before pounding her ersatz penis into his great poo-pond.

Tcharla Amorin is adorable with a mouth full of braces and a crotch expanded by a plastic boner. She bangs her man in bed with noticeable glee, a feeling he reciprocates all over his own stomach.

Pile Driver 4 will supply plenty for you to pound yourself to.

*

Gringo Dicks in Latin Chicks 3 (Juicy)
Director: Francesca Le
Cast: Jasmine Byrne, Victoria Sweet, Nikki Nievez, Sativa Rose, Luscious Lopez, Mark Wood and Alec Knight.

Gringo Dicks in Latin Chicks 3.

Just saying that name makes one smile, be you Latin, be you gringo, be you any human with a set of gonads and a sense of humor.

Better still is that the series, directed by adult-video veteran Francesca Le, builts upon its catchily-monikered premise and provides top-flight eroticism in each of its scenes.

Victoria Sweet opens the proceedings bound, blindfolded and sucking on a ball-gag, all courtesy of paddle-wielding Mark Wood. After some tasty bondage play, they get to banging in a long, energetic encounter tat even includes a moment of toe-sucking.

Slinky little Sativa Rose appears next, spewing all manner of dirty talk at us in her native Spanish, thereby proving that heat is the one true universal language. Alec Knight comes along and puts something in that fast-working little mouth. Then he puts it in Sativas slit.

Boomin’-bootied Luscious Lopez mounts Mark Wood and fantastically delivers when he flips her over and does her doggy-style. Nikki Nievez ups the ante by offering her anus to Alec Knight. He happily accepts the invitation and their rollicking rectum-romp is the real deal.

Top-billed Jasmine Byrne closes the show by taking on the tools of both Wood and Knight, displaying the superhuman dick-smoking abilities for which she has been properly celebrated. Jazzy also takes both sticks in her snizz before brilliantly climaxing the affair with a sweat-drenched double penetration.

Gringo Dicks in Latin Chicks 3 is a credit to all the races involved.

*

Prisoner (Metro)
Director: Devan Sapphire
Starring: Britney Sky, Nina Hartley, Violet Blue, Justine Joli, Haley Paige, Steven St. Croix, Randy Spears, Barrett Blade, and Tommy Gunn.

Prisoner taps into the motherlode of masturbatory myths- wanton women in cages of steel. The idea of women in prison conjures up a wide range of spank-tacular possibilities from caged fuck-sluts discovering the unknown pleasures of an all-tuna diet to a sadistic lesbian warden who can pick and choose her pussy-pals from the ranks of the bad girls to a horny guard who slides his nightstick in between a convict’s bars for a little rod-gobbling while no one’s looking. No wonder they made a porno about it!

Prisoner’s protagonist Charlene, played by Britney Sky a blonde with big fake titties, is an unfortunate young woman whose affair with a drug dealer leads her down the path of addiction, prostitution and murder. Luckily for us, she winds up locked up in prison with some of the finest pussy ever sent up the river.

Since this is a movie set in a women’s prison, it would be criminal to omit the obligatory shower sex. Luckily, no one is that thoughtless, and director Devan Sapphire has paired up seasoned porn legend Nina Hartley, a blonde cougar with inflatable fun bags and an insatiable sexual appetite with relative newcummer Justine Joli a near-perfect specimen with a supermodel’s face and an all-natural body that would make any bikini happy. Justine, whose hair is dyed bright pink, doesn’t take much convincing to be Nina’s new girlfriend, and returns the older woman’s advances with equal ferocity. Their make out session in the shower leads to a spirited muff-diving session in which Justine takes to clam-digging like a fish to the water and Nine snakes her experienced tongue deep into the recesses of her new bitch’s tight twat and quivering asshole. That’s 30 days in the hole, ladies!

My second choice for best scene features a laundry room encounter between curvaceous Latina Hailey Paige and well-armed prison guard Tommy Gunn. After dropping to her knees to swallow Tommy’ s goo-gun, Hailey spreads like butter so Mr. Gunn can give her pink pasta a meat filling, eventually unloading his white sauce into her hungry mouth. Talk about your job benefits!

If Prisoner is any indication, there’s no better place to slam ‘er than in the slammer! Or in the ass.

*