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“Baby, take off your dress,” Joe Cocker sang as Kim Basinger did just that in her dirty dance for the 1986 film 9½ Weeks. “You can leave your hat on.” Kim wasn’t wearing one … nor was she wearing a bra … and the idea of a hat as “all that” entered the sex lexicon.

“Hang on to your hats and celebrate in style onJanuary 15th,” proclaims the National Day Calendar. “Millions will participate in National Hat Day!”

Since this year it falls on a Sunday—Martin Luther King’s actual birthday—celebration of his holiday will have to wait till tomorrow.

“One of the most amazing things about hats is that they enable the person wearing them to be absolutely anything,” observes Days of the Year. “From protecting your head from the cold or heat of the day, to just expressing who you are to the world, National Hat Day is a great time to sport your sexiest headgear. So ladies, mark your calendar!”

According to historians, “One of the first depictions of a hat appears in a tomb painting in Thebes, Egypt, which shows a topless woman leading a musical procession while wearing a conical hat—dated to around 3,200 B.C.

“In the Middle Ages, hats for women ranged from simple scarves to elaborate headdresses, and denoted social status.”

Indeed, only the wealthy could afford hats in the 18th Century—where the finest quality headwear was fashioned by the merchants of Milan, Italy. From where we derive the term “milliner” for hatmaker.

By the early 20th Century, you had to put a bonnet on it … and acclaimed artists from German Ernst Kirchner (below left) in 1910 and famed Frenchman Henri Matisse in 1919 (below right) painted their models in elaborate hats … and little else.

For decades before, photographers of the late 19th century had often depicted their models with virtually nothing on but headgear …

… with shoes the only other accessory—and the images both graphic … and Sapphic!

“In olden days a glimpse of stocking (above right) was looked on as something shocking,” wrote composer Cole Porter. Yet even back then, it seams, Anything Goes -- and stimulated many a man’s ‘hose.’

Today, of course, lusty lensmen regularly use hats as props to add mystery to the finest figure photography …

… though, in our view, those bowlers belong on the head!

They don’t call ’em top hats for nothing!!

What’s truly remarkable is that … bushy or bare … these full frontal nudes are clearly enhanced—and eroticized—by the addition of chapeaux.

“Hats bring a sprig of style to an outfit,” says one designer, “and round it out.”

Round is what we’ve found … as Sleuth has raced to fashion a Dazzling Dozen Derby featuring female celebs honoring National Hat Day with just that!

“Everyone has a love and use for hats,” concludes Days of the Year. “Hat Day is the best time for you to break out your favorite headwear, and use it to make a huge impression.”

We think you’ll be impressed with 12 of the best … {in alphabetical order by first name}.

BRIGITTE BARDOT

Don’t let what’s on top distract you from the wisps of pubes below!

CASSANDRA PETERSON aka ELVIRA

EMILY RATAJKOWSKI

ERIN HEATHERTON

Victoria’s Secret supermodel and longtime love of Leonardo DiCaprio

HEIDI KLUM

JENA MALONE

The Hunger Games dame’s latest film is called The Public. Make that pubic

JENNIFER LOPEZ

Hat’s a nip tip … and it’s a pip!

KARLIE KLOSS

Leggy ex-Angel for Victoria’s Secret, the 6-foot-2 bisexual beauty is long-rumored to be the lesbian lover of singer Taylor Swift!

KATE MOSS {rhymes with Kloss}

LIZZY JAGGER

Stands out in hat between model mom Jerry Hall and sister Georgia May Jagger … and even more without them!

MADONNA

ZOË KRAVITZ

Called ‘The Coolest Girl in the World’ (above left), she’s certainly got the genes.

And those tight-fitting jeans form a fitting END to this heady holiday.

Hat’s all, folks!!